The holidays are coming to a close and while you sipped your fair share of cocktails, opened gift after lovely gift and partook in plenty of yuletide cheer, something is still amiss. Mr. (or Ms.) right is nowhere to be found. We tapped the dating prowess of Beth Hooper for tips on spending New Year’s Eve with someone special. Heed her wise advice and with any luck, you’ll be locking lips with your happily ever after when the clock strikes midnight.
Tip#1: Avoid Panic Mode
The holidays can be stressful for singles…so many invitations—the office party, friends’ gatherings, parents’ parties—the question of “the date” begins to be your most frequent thought – particularly when it comes to New Year’s Eve. As the big date creeps closer, it becomes easier to think of just asking the guy you met at the bar last week …simply to avoid showing up alone. That does nothing for creating a lasting relationship—it only puts pressure on both of you. Instead, ask one of your guy friends to play the role of escort, and enjoy yourself. This is a time to relax, have fun, and shine in front of the rest of the crowd. Bringing a veritable unknown to the party, even if he is handsome, will most likely feel forced and cause you to resent having to work to entertain him. Save that handsome guy for next year…when you know each other better.
Tip #2: Just Say No
What about the party he invites you to…that you really don’t want to attend? How do you decline gracefully, and still end up able to spend time with your man? The trick is in the spin. It’s not that you don’t want to meet the relatives, or dislike his former couples friends, or don’t want to relive old times with his buddies. What you want is to spend time with your special person, alone, enjoying each other’s company. When you are faced with the invitation that you want to decline, express how nice it feels to be included in the group, but tell your guy that you’re swamped with finishing the work project before year’s end. Suggest that he go alone—for a while—and you will finish up your things. Set a time later on to rendezvous alone, together, and get the party going in a romantic way.
Tip #3: To Gift or not to Gift?
You narrowly escaped this scenario at Christmas and Hanukkah, but it’s looking like this love may just last through Valentine’s Day (and hopefully forever after). How do you approach the topic of celebrating everyone’s favorite Hallmark Holiday when the relationship is still somewhat new or undefined? Avoid giving him a gift and you could end up embarrassed if he presents you with a gorgeously wrapped box containing your favorite perfume; give one that’s too expensive and the dreaded imbalance could occur—he got you a Starbuck’s gift card and a bottle of wine while you sprung for the Prada wallet. The scenarios for awkwardness are endless unless you either discuss it in advance, or stay true to a couple general rules. If you have been dating less than one month, either have a date night to a favorite restaurant and each treat the other, or make/organize something special that he loves: burn a CD of your favorite songs, give him a certificate for a romantic dinner for two at your place; take his dog to the groomer. If you have been dating one-two months, give him a gift you can enjoy together: couples massages, a Dabble class for two, tickets to a charity wine tasting, a night at a club. Over two months…go for a gift, but remember…it’s the thought, not the amount on your credit card.
Bringing matchmaking and date coaching to a new level, Beth L. Hooper is known as “The Charitable Love Champion,” uniting clients’ philanthropic passions, lifestyle and personalities to make the perfect match. She believes the key to creating stellar relationships is based on shared interests, values, and generosity of spirit—not an endless stream of random dates. With her personal philosophy that, “Giving back keeps relationships exponentially expanding and communities strong,” Beth and her team specialize in creating love connections through charity and common ground. If you’re ready to find “the one,” she’s ready to help make it happen. Reach her via bethlhooper.com.